Emblem Wars: A New Game
by PMOHWinters
Summary: A new Star WarsFE parody. The successor to my dead LOTR fic.
1. Prologue

Author's Notes: Unfortunately, due to some auto-detect program and the FF admins' aggressiveness in deleting ANYTHING that has ANY sort of script format whatsoever, I will no longer have any sort of creative and intelligent conversations with myself (you will be missed, Kcee...). Well, you've broken another creative mind and somebody's faith in the integrity of FF. I hope you admins are happy. 

PS: Also, because of this, my LOTR: FE fic is dead, and because it worked best in script format, I will not be forced to dumb it down just so it gets the "approval" rating of the admins. If you don't like it, complain to the people in charge. 

**Emblem Wars: A New Game**

**Prologue**

Not a very long time ago (right now), in a Game Boy not so far away (in your hands), the galaxy of Elibe was once ruled by the proud and just Lycians, along with their champions, the Lords, who acted as peacekeepers and diplomats, keeping order among Elibe. Unfortunately, this was not to last. Soon, the Black Fang Empire, and its insidious leader, Emperor Nergal, overthrew the Lycians and hunted down the Lords. Almost every single one was tracked down and exterminated, with only a few who have either fled or gone into hiding. Now, Nergal and the Black Fang rule over all of Elibe, but for every evil, there are people willing to fight against it. The remnants of the Lycians, along with other groups against Black Fang have banded together to form the Lycian Alliance. A somewhat ragtag army dedicated to destroying Black Fang and restore order to Elibe. Even now, Princess Priscilla flees from the Black Fang, carrying the plans to some hideous weapon. The fate of all of Elibe lies in her hands...

-=text continues to scroll upwards=-


	2. Ch 1: The Truth is Scary

Emblem Wars: A New Game

In case you don't understand, a morph=droid.

Chapter 1: The Truth is Scary

Space... not exactly much to look at. I mean, its just... I don't know... a big empty void with lots of bright shiny thingies called stars. Okay, time to stop babbling and get on track here.

A lone Pegasus cruiser flees from a massive Wyvern Destroyer. Both ships begin exchanging Ballista fire, lighting up the surrounding space with brilliant flashes of green and red. But eventually, one lucky Ballista bolt finds its mark and hits the Pegasus cruiser in a crucial spot, crippling the craft and leaving it at the mercy of the massive Wyvern Destroyer.

The explosion rocked the entire ship, forcing Kent to stumble forward, which resulted him in tripping over his fellow morph Nils.

"Nils! Watch where you're going! Standing the middle of the hallway is a fire hazard!"

The smaller morph quickly scrambled to his feet.

"What the heck are you talking about? Maybe you should try watching where you step, you big clumsy oaf!"

Nils was quickly rewarded with a smack to the head.

"That's insubordination!"

Another explosion rocked the ship, knocking both morphs around again.

"Aaaaah!"

Both morphs scrambled to their feet again, only get knocked aside by a troop of Lycian guards rushing toward the ships entrance.

Kent got up again rubbing his head.

"This is just NOT my day."

"You're telling me! I don't bruise very well you know!"

"Quiet, Nils! I didn't ask you! Now lets get off this ship before we're blown to bits! Or worse! Sold as scrap!"

"Oka-"

Suddenly, Nils looked as if he had suddenly remembered something.

"Wait! I gotta go do something first!"

Without saying another word of explanation, the smaller morph quickly ran off deeper in the ship.

"Nils! Wait! Gah! I can't stand that kid!"

Meanwhile, the guards were having problems of their own. As they tried to protect the entrance, dozens of Black Fang knights and soldiers poured through the doorway. Actually, it wasn't really much of a fight. I mean, have you EVER seen a bunch of anonymous good guys WIN a fight in the beginning of the story?

"Oh my god! We all gonna die!!!"

"No! It's not supposed to bend that way!"

"Mommy!"

"Make it stop!! The stabbing hurts!!! MAKE IT STOP!!"

"I could've been a lawyer, or a doctor, but NOOOO, I had to run away and join the Lycians..."

Sadly enough, battle actually didn't take that long. Shortly after the last guard was downed, a dark, ominous figure stepped through the doorway. He stood over the fallen guards and began laughing.

"Bwahaha! You guys just got owned!" 

"Bad team."

"Crappy map."

"Lag."

A soldier quickly ran up to the dark figure.

"Uhh, Dark Lord Ephidel! We have reasons to believe the plans for the weapon are on this ship!"

The Dark Lord Ephidel sighed, but it was kind of hard to tell since he was breathing so hard.

"Wow, what an interesting insight! You should write that down under 'SHIT I already know that!!!'"

"Uhh, sorry my Lord! We also believe the captain knows the whereabouts of the plans!"

"Thank you for pointing out the BRUTALLY obvious."

Meanwhile, in another part of the ship, Kent was hopelessly lost in the cruisers maintenance passages.

"Nils! Nils! Where the heck are you! I want to kill you!"

Kent then rounded a corner and caught sight of Nils.

"Nils! When I get my hands you-"

He abruptly stopped when he noticed that there was someone else with Nils. She was a very pretty girl, with short red hair. The girl knelt down, whispered something into Nils' ear, and handed him a small package. She then kissed the morph on the forehead and ran off. Once she was gone, Kent ran up to check on Nils.

"Nils! What the heck were you doing?"

Unfortunately, Nils was in a trance. Probably as a result of getting kissed by a very pretty girl. Kent quickly solved that with a quick slap to the face.

"SNAP OUT OF IT, NILS! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO FRATRENIZE WITH THE PASSENGERS!"

"Ow! You didn't have to hit me so hard!"

"Actually, yes I do! Now hurry up! We have to find an escape pod!"

"Waaaay ahead of you."

Nils gave Kent a hardy shove, and the morph fell backwards into an escape chute in the wall.

"Argh!"

Nils smiled and quickly jumped in. Once secured, he slammed the EJECT button, and was satisfied to hear a hearty _whump _as Kent's face slammed into the window from the force of the pod's ejection.

"Nils! You didn't even wait for me the buckle in! That's extremely unsafe you know!"

Nils rolled his eyes and sighed. This was going to be a loooong trip.

Back on the ship, Ephidel was busy interrogating the captain of the cruiser, though things weren't going so well. Either the captain was a very good liar, or didn't know where the plans were. Either way, the Dark Lord was getting more pissed off.

"I WANT THE TRUTH!"

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE TRUTH!"

"YES I CAN!"

"Okay then. Vaida really DOES have supports with another character!"

"NO! You've gotta be sh-tting me!!"

"Nope, I'm serious."

"Oh man... so many really nasty thoughts going through my head!! ARGH!!"

Ephidel quickly got out a bottle of aspirins and swallowed the entire bottle.

"Won't taking that many aspirins so quickly, like, kill you or something?"

"Hey, they don't call me the Dark Lord for skipping around in a magic jellybean field and throwing flowers all over the place."

"Now THAT makes a nasty image."

"SILENCE! Now tell where the plans are! If you don't, I'll kill you!"

"And what happens if I do?"

"Then I'll kill you! Wait... I mean... aw man, screw it."

Ephidel quickly waved his arms and cast an Elfire spell on the captain, immediately, well, almost immediately incinerating him.

"AAAGGGHHH! IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS WITH THE PAIN OF A THOUSAND SUNS!!!"

"You're damn right it does! Took me a long time to get that trick down right!"

Ephidel turned around to face his troops.

"Now search every nook and cranny of this ship! I don't care if you have to tear it apart! FIND THOSE PLANS!"

All of the soldiers nodded and marched off, except for one. Ephidel immediately recognized the soldier.

"Ugh, what do you want this time?"

"Uhh, I was just wondering, what if the captain had the plan in his pockets or something? I mean, you didn't even bother to check him, and then you burned him that-"

Ephidel waves his arms again, and the soldier burst into the flames.

"AAAHHHHH! AAAHHHH! AAAAAHHHH!"

Ephidel smiled at his work and walked away.


	3. Ch 2: Useless Staves

Emblem Wars: A New Game

Chapter 2: Useless Staves

On orders from Dark Lord Ephidel, Black Fang troops scoured the entire ship for any sign of the plans. They looked everywhere. In the bridge, the ships computers, the cargo bay, and finally, the ship's maintenance passages. Princess Priscilla was running out of places to hide.

Right now, a squad of soldiers were patrolling the narrow and confining passageways.

"Okay, lets move in. Soldier 1, you're up front."

"What? Why me?"

"Because you've got the number one in your name, which means you go first."

"I hate my parents."

The soldiers slowly walked up the hall, weapons raised. Priscilla searched frantically for a weapon.

"Lets see... Cure stave, Teleport stave, Beserk staff, Sleep stave, Torch staff... agh! They're all staves! They're useless!"

"Hey! I think I heard something!"

Soldier 1 quickly ran toward the noise, and was rewarded with a stave smacking into his skull.

"Agh! Man down! Man down!"

"We're under attack!"

As rest of the soldiers dove for cover, Priscilla took the chance and started running. Soldier 1 continued rolling on the floor in pain."

"Are you okay, soldier?"

Soldier 1 slowly got up, rubbing his head.

"Owwww... that hurt! And I think it's bleeding!"

Soldier 1 looked down at his hand.

"Wait... actually... nevermiind. But that still hurt!"

There was a clanking sound a quick shriek.

"Stupid precariously placed heavy metal object!"

The soldiers whipped around to see Priscilla running off. The leader spoke up.

"Hurry men, we have to get her! Set your arrows to stun!"

The other eleven soldiers stared at him stupidly.

"Uhhh, what did you say, sir?"

"Nevermind, that just sounded cool. Lets get her with that new Sleep stave we got!"

"Are you sure you know how to work that, sir?"

"Sure! I mean, how hard can it be?"

The leader started waving the stave around, but nothing happened.

"Uh, maybe you should-"

"Screw this stupid thing! Staves suck!"

The leader threw the stave away in rage, which flew down the hall and struck Priscilla in the back of the head, knocking her out. All of the soldiers, including the leader, stared in disbelief.

"How did you do that sir?!"  
  
"I'm just that good."

The soldiers quickly grabbed the unconscious princess and dragged her away.

Meanwhile, on the nearby planet of Nabata, a lone escape pod lay jutting out of the endless desert landscape. A pair of footprints leading away from the pod could be seen, and with them, two morphs.

"I told you we should've turned left at the asteroid, Nils, but nooooo, you had to turn right, and land us in the middle of nowhere with no civilization for hundreds of miles! What the heck are you thinking!?!?"

"Shutup Kent, I have to go somewhere first!"  
  
"And... why do you have to do that?"  
  
"Because the pretty lady told me to!"

"Oh, so the pretty lady told you to strand us in the middle of this god-forsaken desert so we could all DIE?!?!?"

"Yes."

"What?!!?"

"It's a JOKE, Kent. I was pretty sure you would be able to see through it."  
  
"This is no time for humor, Nils! This is a very dire situation!"

"Maybe you should talk less and walk more, you're so slow!"  
  
"FINE! You go this way, and I'll go THAT way! When I find civilizations, I'll be sure to leave your miserable little corpse out here for the vultures!"

"Whatever, man."

Both morphs then split up and stormed off into the distance.

Back to space, the captured Priscilla was taken to Black Fangs secret weapons, the Dragon Star. She was to be interrogated for information there, but being stuck with a pair of the dumbest guards ever was torture enough.

"Hey, Erky!, I've been thinking."

"I seriously doubt THAT happens."

The pink haired guard seemed to be totally oblivious to the barb aimed at her.

"Why did they call this thing a Dragon STAR? Why not a Dragon Moon or a Dragon Planet? Why a Dragon STAR?"

Erk shook his head and muttered to himself.

"I should've just stayed home today..."

"And also-"

"Shutup."

"But-"

"Shutup."

"Can-"

"Zip it!."

"Well-"

"No!"

"Maybe-"

"SHUTUP!"

"Stop being so mean, Erky! I just wanted to talk!"

"DON'T YOU DO THAT ENOUGH ALREADY!?!?"

Priscilla huddled to the farthest corner of her cell and started hitting her head against the wall in an attempt to knock herself out. This was one of the few times she wished she had a Sleep staff on hand.

Several agonizing hours later, their ship FINALLY reached the Dragon Star.

"FINALLY!"

As they boarded the massive space station, they were met by Grand Moff Desmond, one of the most ruthless and unforgiving men in all of Elibe.

"So, the prisoner is finally here?"  
  
"SHUTUP!"  
Desmond gave a hateful glare to Erk.

"Just WHAT did you say to me?  
  
"Uhhh, sorry sir, it was reflex!"

"Just what the heck are you talking about!"  
  
Suddenly, Serra passed by, throwing off words so fast, that all of her sentences were jumbled together into inane jargon.

"Uhhh, I see. You are dismissed."

The purple-haired guard nodded and ran off. Desmond ordered Serra off to the garbate disposal. With any luck, she would wander into the incinerators, or better yet, the trash compactors or something. That would do everybody on this station a favor. Desmond finally remembered why he was here, cleared his throat, and turned to face Priscilla.

"Ah! Princess Priscilla, what and honor to see you!"  
  
"Umm, I don't think we've met."  
  
"Well-"

"Oh wait, now I remember. I recognize that stench anywhere, its you, isn't it Desmond? You should really take a bath or something, or at least get some deodorant."  
  
Desmond grumbled several words under his breath before he continued.

"Okay Princess, we just want to know where you are hiding the plans for this space station-"

"No, asking me very nicely isn't going to get them for you, so don't even try."

"We have ways of making you talk!"  
  
"If you've got anything worse than having to sit in a confined space with that pink-haired terror for five hours, I'd like to see it!"

"Haha, you just got owned, Desmond!"  
  
"Shutup, Ephidel! Nobody asked you!"


	4. Ch 3: Morphs for Sale

Emblem Wars: A New Game

Author's Notes: Yeah! Finally, chapter 2! Sorry for taking so long, but I've been pretty busy. Please don't lynch me.

Chapter 2: Morphs for Sale

Meanwhile, back down on the planet of Nabata, our story focuses on a small estate in the middle of the desert...

"Raven!"

Uncle Cornwell walked out the house and into the bright, hot day.

"Now where did that darn kid go? RAVEN! GET OVER HERE BEFORE I GET THE DUCT TAPE!"

"I'm coming, Uncle Cornwell!"

Uncle Cornwell turned and saw the red-haired youth coming in from the fields.

"You've been messing around with your friends again?"

"Uhhh... yeah... sort of..."

Uncle Cornwell sighed. It was like this every weekend.

"And the two morphs I lent to you?"

"Uhhh... funny story about that. You see, we went to town stole an ambulance, a flamethrower, and a ton Ilian tapioca and... OH MY GOD, IT WAS JUST SOOO COOL!"

Uncle Cornwell shook his head.

"Raven, just what am I going to do with you? That was the fifth time this month that you trashed a morph! Now I'm going to have to buy new ones, and I'm taking it right out of your Academy fund!"  
Raven's jaw dropped.

"You can't do that! I was supposed to go to the Academy this year!"

"Well, that's too bad. The next harvest is coming soon, and I'm going to need all the extra help I can get. Maybe next year, once we sell off the harvest."

"But-"

"That is _enough_, Raven. This should teach you a lesson about sneaking off with those friends of yours and doing all those reckless things at night. For all I know, you're probably out stabbing various people you come across in the street."

Uncle Cornwell noticed that Raven's eyes began to shift around.

"But-"

"No buts, Raven. Now go and help your Aunt out in the kitchen."

Raven gave a look of pure rage at Uncle Cornwell, but he was very used to that already. Raven always had problems with his temper, but Cornwell couldn't do much about it. He once tried enrolling Raven in an anger management class, but all that did was give Raven more excuses to beat up people, saying that he was merely "venting his anger."Cornwall sighed and waited for Raven to stomp off to the house before picking up the phone and calling the nearest merchant.

Out in the desert, a morph clad in red armor was stumbling through the desert, trying to get his bearings.

"Once I find my way out of this stupid desert, I am going to _Kill Nils_."

Kent was already thinking about a hundred ways to kill the annoying little morph when his eye caught a wagon in the distance.

"Finally! Civilization! Stupid Nils, this'll show him!"

Kent started jumping up and down and waving his arms.  
"Hey! Over here! I need help!"

Nils, in the meantime, was walking through a canyon when he began to hear strange noises.

"Uhhh, who's there!"

It was silent for a moment, when another voice spoke up.

"Um, we're the, uh.... Desert gnomes! Yeah! We're not like merchants or anything, who want to capture you and sell you to a farmer or anything..."

Nils raised an eyebrow.

"Uh huh, so you mind showing yourself?"

"Sure thing!"

Suddenly, a little midget wearing a tan robe appeared from the rocks.

"See? I'm a desert gnome! Or at least, I think I am. I was lost in this desert for so long..."

"Uhhh... okay..."

"I remember when I first got lost, when I was a little girl.."

"Wait... but... aren't you a.... uhhh..."

The little gnomish figure looked at Nils.

"What?"  
"Uhhh... nevermind."

Suddenly, Nils felt something slam into the back of his head, and everything went black.

"Oh my god! What the heck did you do that for!? He was my only friend for who knows how long!"

The gnome started hopping angrily at the merchants. The merchants just looked at each other.

"Uhhh, who the heck is that?"

"I don't know, but it sure is ugly."

"Fugly is more like it."

"HEY!"

The gnome got up and prepared to attack, the merchants were too quick. Like all merchants, they were very good at running away. They quickly dashed to their wagon, tossed the unconscious Nils into the back, and sped off. The gnome continued to chase them.

"Come back here, and feel the wrath of Vaida!!!"

Tap tap tap "Ugh..." 

Kent started to wake up. He wanted to go back to sleep, but something kept poking at his head.

"Can't I just stay in bed for five more minutes?"

"I'm not your mommy, Kent, and I doubt anybody would want to be."

Kent suddenly recognized the voice and shot straight up.

"NILS! You're here!"

"Yeah, its great to see you too-"

Nils gagged as Kent's hands grabbed his neck and began choking him.

"I am sooo going to kill you!"

Nils gasped for air and managed to blurt out.

"B-but it's dishonorable to attack an unarmed opponent!!"

Kent suddenly stopped choking Nils and put him down.  
"Dang! You're right! You win, this time."

Suddenly, the wagon went to an abrupt halt, and a bright beam of light shone through as the door opened.

"Agggh! My eyes!"

"Come on, Raven! The merchants are here!"

"I'm coming, Uncle!"

Raven came running out of the house. Dealing with merchants was his favorite pastime.

"Okay Raven, while I'm working out the details, why don't check the quality of their product?"

"Sure thing!"

Raven took out the baseball bat from behind his back and eagerly ran to the wagon like a child after candy. One of the merchants noticed him.

"Hey, you're not supposed to-"

Raven turned around, with a demonically devious smile on his face.

"You know, I could take out this baseball bat which can and will be used as a weapon of lethal force. And after that, I'll break your legs and sell them to the Swedes!"

The merchant's eyes bulged at the threat and he shied away.  
"That's what I thought!"

Raven then proceeded to take out random items from the wagon and "test" their "structural integrity" with his baseball bat.

"Oh man, I hope they get this done soon, that red-haired guy with the baseball is freaking me out."

"Don't worry. He won't attack an unarmed opponent!"

"No, _you_ wouldn't attack an unarmed opponent."

Kent elbowed Nils hard.

"Silence!"

"I told you, 500 gold for two morphs. No more."  
"Come on now, we've got operating costs, expenses, the hiring fees."

"Bull! You probably just pulled those morphs off the street or in the middle of the desert for all I know! 500 gold!"

The merchant looked at Uncle Cornwell's expression. His face might as well have been made out of stone. He knew that there was no way to make the customer relent. Oh well, a sale was a sale.

"Okay, fine. 500 gold."

"Okay, I'll choose that tall red one."

Kent jumped for joy.  
"Yeah!"

Nils looked down glumly.  
"Aww man.."

"And uh, I'll choose..."

Nils crossed his fingers.

"That short one over there with the red hair."

"Yeah! Cool!"

Roy began to cheer, that is, until Raven came over and beat the living daylights out of him with his baseball bat.

"RAVEN!"

Raven looked up at saw his Uncle.

"Uhhh... it was an accident?"

Uncle Cornwell sighed.

"Now what?"

Kent bent over and whispered in Uncle Cornwell's ear.

"Hey, you see that short blue stupid looking one over there? He's a good worker. He doesn't look it, but he just looooves hard manual labor. And he likes it more if it's life-threatening!"

Uncle Cornwell quickly pointed at Nils.

"I'll have that one then."


	5. Ch 4: Breaking in the Morphs

Author's Notes: Sorry for taking so long to update, but I'm finding it a little hard to with school and all.  
  
Emblem Wars: A New Game

Chapter 5: Breaking in the Morphs

Later, after the merchants had left, Uncle Cornwell, Raven, Kent, and Nils all gathered in the barn.

"All right Raven, I've got some work to do out in the fields. I want you to show these morphs the ropes. You know, break them in."

Raven smiled and eagerly pulled out his baseball bat.

"Not THAT kind of breaking, Raven."

"Dang."

Raven frowned and put his bat away, much to the relief of Kent and Nils.

"Okay, first things first, we gotta get you guys cleaned up. You are just _filthy_. What did you guys do, fall out of ship and wander through the desert?"

"Uhhh..."

"Whatever. Lets just get this over wi- hey, what's this?"

Raven bent down to pick up what looked like a disc on the floor. Nils' eyes widened in surprise.

"Hey, that's-"

Raven casually shoved the small morph away and kept him at bay with his arm as he examined the disc.

"Hm, well, its worth a try."

He inserted the disc into a project and set it "play."

"Hey, how do you have one those?"

Raven shrugged.

"I don't know."

At that moment, the disc began to play, and the projector produced a small figure, about four inches tall. It was a very small, very pretty red haired girl. Raven couldn't help but feel that she looked familiar. The girl began to speak, but it was apparent that the disc was corrupted, as it started to spit out footage like a broken record.

"Help me, Lord Pent, you're my only hope."

She said that over, and over, and over again. Raven frowned.

"Great."

He pulled out the disc and examined it.

"No wonder, "made in the USA", it's a piece of cr-p."

"Can I have the disc back now?"

"No! I'm keeping it, for.. uh... just shutup, okay?"

It was at this moment Kent decided to intervene.

"Can we please just forget all this stupid nonsense? I just want to get all this sand out of my armor. You know how annoying that is?"

Several seconds of silence followed.

"Uhhh, Raven, did you hear me?"

"Yeah, but I was ignoring you, because I don't care."

Raven thought for a moment.

Lord Pent? That sounds mighty familiar... 

"Nils? Do you know who Lord Pent is?"

"Uh, no?"

"Liar. Tell me the truth before I beat your brains out with this bat."

"I was supposed to see him for something important!"

"Lets see... Lord Pent... could she be talking about Old Man Pants?"

"Old Man Pants?"

"Yeah, some sort of hermit who lives out in the middle of the desert. Claims he's a researcher or something, but my Uncle says that's the nice term for "hobo." Never let me go near the guy."

"Afraid you were gonna beat him up?"

Raven grinned evilly.  
"Yep."

Later that night, Raven realized he left his bat in the barn, so before curfew, he ran back to try and find it. Once he reached the barn, he turned on the lights when someone rammed right into him.

"What the-?!?!"

Thinking quickly, Raven snatched the bat lying next to door and started pummeling away at the intruder.

"Hey! HEY! OW! Stop that! That hurts!"

Realizing who it was, Raven stopped hitting Kent after a couple of more good hits against his legs.

"OW! What the heck was that for!??"

"Because I don't like you. Now what the heck are you doing in here and where's Nils?"

Kent slowly got up, wincing in pain from the beating.

"Oh man that hurts... I'm going to feel that in the morning..."

"Where is Nils!??"

"Huh? Oh right. The little brat ran off to try to find that 'Lord Pent' guy."  
"Son of a-"

Like lightning, Raven bolted out of the barn and began to look into the distance, but he saw nothing.

"Great. He's gone. Uncle Cornwell is going to be so _pissed_..."

Kent slowly limped up behind Raven.

"So we're not going after him?"

Raven took another look out, and shook his head.

"No, it's getting dark out. We might run into bandits and some fugly little... thing... calling itself Vaida or whatever. Plus, Uncle Cornwell would _kill_ me if he found out I snuck out again."

"Raven! It's already 11:00! Time to come inside!"

Before walking off the house, Raven turned and pointed a finger at Kent.

"Any word, anything at all about Nils being missing, and I swear to Elimine, I will break your legs with a passion that you can never imagine."

Kent quickly nodded and was careful to keep his distance from the angry teen.

The next morning, Raven and Kent jumped onto a speeder and set off to try to find the wayward Nils. Unfortunately, for Raven, Kent found no shortage of things to complain about on the trip, and likewise, Raven found no shortage to the limits of his temper.

"Can you please drive a little slower, Raven? I mean, we're probably violating a speed- OW!"

Kent rubbed the spot on his head that had met with Raven's fist.

"I would've hit you harder, but I'm in no mood to carry your sorry butt around."

Raven smiled.

"Besides, there's no speed limit in Nabata. Actually, there aren't any laws around here at all."

Raven laughed at Kent's expression of pure horror and drove on.

Nils, meanwhile, was regretting his decision. Not to run away, but because he skipped the part in his 'worst case scenario' class that would've taught him how to hotwire a speeder.

I just had to choose that day to call in sick... 

Nils kept on walking until he thought he heard something behind him.

Rustle rustle 

Nils quickly turned around, and nearly got a heart attack from what he saw and screamed.

Meanwhile, Raven and Kent were not very far away when they heard someone scream.

"OH MY ELIMINE! IT'S FUGLY! FREAKING FUGLY!!!"

Raven brought his speeder to a screeching halt, throwing Kent around.

"Hey! That was totally unsafe! I would've been killed if it weren't for my seatbelt!"

But Raven was already dashing over to where the scream came from. Kent rolled his eyes in annoyance and began to unbuckle his seatbelt.

The moment Raven reached the spot where he heard the scream, he suddenly saw that Nils had good reason to.

"Holy! It's Vaida!"  
Nils was trying to back away from Vaida. Raven would've laughed if he had seen the look of pure horror on Nils' face, but he was covering it up with his hands in an attempt not to see the fugly little woman.

"Vaida, what did I tell you about scaring people in the desert?"

"But I just wanted a friend-"

"Go. Now."

Dejected, Vaida slouched and slowly walked away. Seeing that Vaida was well on her way, Raven turned to Nils, who was still lying on the ground.

"Okay Nils, it's time for a little talk..."

But Nils wasn't listening. He was concentrating on something behind Raven.

"What the-"

Before he could react though, he felt something hit the back of his head.

"OW! What the heck was that for?!?"

The bandit, who had slowly snuck behind Raven, was thoroughly surprised the blow didn't knock Raven out..

"I mean, seriously, who the heck hits someone in the head with a freaking _rubber chicken_!? If you want pain, you need something a little harder-"

Raven brought his bat around, swinging right into the bandit's head. Raven heard a sickening _crack!_, and the bandit dropped to the ground.

"Heh, that was easy-"

This time, another bandit hit him the back of the head. Unfortunately for Raven, this one was a little smarter and hit Raven with a brick. Raven fell to the ground, but as he did so, he heard a lot of strange noise and a lot of heat.

Before Raven fainted though, he thought he saw a strange cloaked figure standing over him.


End file.
